A new journey.

As I begin to type this my almost 4 week old nugget is wrapped in her Solly baby wrap and is sleeping soundly against my chest. It’s her favorite place to be and every sweet little inhale and exhale of her breathing reminds me just how truly blessed we are. I am almost always smothering her in kisses because I feel like she’s no longer a newborn. I feel like I took a nap, woke up, and she’s a month old.  The growing and changing is happening so quickly and it’s all going just so darn fast.

I’ve been wanting to write this for about a week, but I haven’t gotten around to it since hello new life with a child & adjusting to our new family. I wanted to get my thoughts down on what these first few weeks of parenthood has been like for us. Things people told us that have simply just not been part of our journey. Much like pregnancy- we heard all the bad on parenthood before we became parents ourselves. Can it be hard? It absolutely can be. Really hard. You question everything you thought you knew about babies. Is she too hot? Is she breathing? Why hasn’t she pooped? Is this normal? We have a great baby, but both Tom and I agree that so far her personality isn’t especially easy going as far as babies go. This girl knows what she wants and she can be pretty dang feisty. A trait that I hope later in life means this darlin’ will GET things DONE! She’s got such a personality even in her first month of life. So here are some things we heard before our babe arrived and maybe you’ve heard them too…

“Sleep now because you will never sleep the same again!” Guys, I sleep SO much better now that I am not teaching. I was always awake throughout the night thinking about the kids I taught, my to-do list, or my lessons. I would come home totally wiped after a 10-12 hour day and go straight to bed at 6pm!  At the end of pregnancy (the last month or so) I was up constantly with restless sleep. Some nights, every single hour. Thankfully, Tori has been an amazing sleeper since she arrived home every single night. She sleeps for 4 hour stretches and then again for 3 hour stretches for a total of 10-12 hours. She wakes just to eat, change, and falls right back asleep. I know many babies don’t do this! and parents of multiples (twin mamas you are my hero because we seriously can’t imagine how tough it would be!)  I am sure sleep becomes less and less with each kiddo…and tomorrow this could totally change… but for now this is where we are at! That statement has not been true. Even the days where our little nugget doesn’t nap during the day for 12 hours straight my sleep is still so much better at night then it was before.

Along the same lines…

“You don’t know tired until you’re a parent” — I would change this to “You don’t know tired until you’re teacher tired!” Wrangling one babe is so much easier than wrangling 20+ children! Also, it’s YOUR baby. To love, to hold, and to cherish. Parenthood is way more rewarding than teaching was in my experience!

When chatting with my friend Amy over at Balanced Ames this one really stuck out to me and hit me. “Once that baby is in your arms…you won’t remember the birth.” This. YES, yes you will. Maybe your story will be different, but I can recall every single detail from the day Tori was born. I remember it all. I would not tell an expectant mama this! I remember how tough those contractions were, I remember my anxiety, praying she would start breathing when she came out blue, and the JOY oh the joy of holding our baby girl for the first time. There is nothing like it in this entire world.

“You won’t remember your life before the baby.”— I do remember our life before Tori was here. It was easier to jump in the car and do something, it was a lot less preparing/planning making sure we have her diapers, wipes, changing pad, snacks/water for us, burp cloths, extra outfit, baby wrap, carseat etc! I remember that Tom and I almost never ever ate dinner separately. What it comes down to is that my life before Tori was a lot less humble and a lot more selfish. There most definitely is a lot more love that I never knew was there. I’ll never forget after getting back from the hospital Tom looked at me and said ” I never knew I could love a tiny human so much.” and it’s true. It’s a joy and an honor to have such a GIFT! Your baby is yours and it’s true that life will never be the same because now I’m forever a mama. It can be incredibly challenging, but what great things came without a challenge? Life is just so much better with our baby in it.

This quote sums it all up best for me:

“If you have a child, then you have an assignment from God. Whether by birth or adoption, whether you go to work in an office or the kitchen, regardless of your age or experience or natural talent for nurturing, God has called you to be a mom. And it’s an unrelenting, heat- wrenching, beautifully ordinary, holy job.” 

and so as I continue down this parenthood journey I keep that quote close. I try to take in each little whimper, every smile, and those hilarious concentrating cross eyed moments, and engrain them in my memory because it’s all going too fast. As I took a leap into this motherhood thing I’m embracing this new journey while knowing that life is gonna look a bit different from here on out- and a whole lot more beautiful.

Comments

  1. Nicely put! Even after almost 31 years of being a mom, twice, I still remember every bit of pregnancy, the birth and the growing as if it was just yesterday. And I remember so much of it so vividly!

    So glad you and Tom are loving life as parents. Tori is beautiful!